survey says!

1. NAME THREE THINGS YOU DID TODAY?
Went out for Breakfast
Caught up Laundry
Went Grocery Shopping

2. LAST ITEM YOU BOUGHT YOURSELF. 2 Osphronemus Goramys

3. DO YOU HAVE AN ORNAMENT HANGING FROM YOUR REARVIEW?
Nothing. I prefer to see when I drive.
I do have a parking pass but it's tucked up, not hanging.

4.WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST?
Eggs on Corned Beef Hash. Hash browns with peppers, onions, cheese at Yours Truly

Why be healthy?

5. NAME A CELEB YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON:
Billy Connolly.

6. NAME THE LAST THREE BANDS/ARTISTS YOU SAW LIVE?
Tom Waits Mike Stern Brian Regan

7. HOW MANY HOURS OF SLEEP DO YOU GET A NIGHT?
About 6

8. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TIED UP?
Tiiiiiiied to the whipping post, I was-Tiiiiiiied to the whipping post....Good Lord I feel Like I'm dyin'!

9. WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU WERE DOING RIGHT NOW?
Sleeping

10. WHO'S THE FIRST PERSON IN YOUR PHONE BOOK ON YOUR CELL PHONE?
one that starts with "A"

11. LAST TIME YOU WITNESSED A FIGHT?
the last time I saw the Misfits?

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE YOU CONSUMED?
Shiner Bock

13. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HAIR PULLED?
not typically

14. NAME THREE PLACES YOU WOULD LIKE TO TRAVEL TO?
Bali, Austria, tropical Africa

15. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO ICE SKATE?
I do nothing when it's below 68 degress F

16. WOULD YOU GET BACK WITH YOUR LAST EX?
My Ex Insurance company? Hell no!

17. NAME SOMETHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY YOU LIKE?
Naked City

18. IS BIGGER REALLY BETTER?
Not if it's a boil.

19. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF BRAD PITT?
I think he has lots of money

20. NAME A FRIEND YOU HAVE MOST IN COMMON WITH:
I have a lot in common with each of my friends.

21. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR TOENAILS?
Toenail color?

22. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
no idea.

23. DO YOU OWN ANYTHING WITH A SKULL ON IT?
a skull?

24. HAVE YOU TRAVELED TO EUROPE?
Yes

25. NAME THREE PEOPLE YOU WOULD TRUST WITH YOUR LIFE:
Charles Nelson Riley, Curly Howard, Don Knotts

26. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Sean of the Dead (well, most of it because there were some people watching it at my house).

27. WHERE WERE YOU WHEN YOU HAD YOUR FIRST KISS?
Outside, laying on some bleachers.

29. LAST BOARD GAME YOU PLAYED?
Cranium

30. LEATHER OR LACE?
Gauze and Bandages

31. EVER HAD A BLACK EYE?
Don't think so. I wish I did so I could walk around with a Steak on it.

32. WHERE DO YOU RENT YOUR MOVIES AT?
Friends.

33. HAVE YOU EVER WORN FISH NET STOCKINGS?
Fishnet? No.

34. DO YOU KNOW ANYONE IN PRISON?
Me, once!

35. WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS TOMORROW?
I'm hoping to go look at some wood-burning stoves for my old farmhouse that has no heat upstairs.

1. You are in the Witness Protection Program and must invent a new first, middle, and last name.
Aloicius Gulliver MacGuilicutty

2. You are in a threesome with two famous people, alive or dead. Who are they?
I am? I should prolly find out if they are dead or alive if we're in a threesome!

3. You are in charge of naming your band. What's the name of the band? Flyspittle

4. You are going to get a free tattoo. What would it be?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTjOQHaHPPY

5. You are being forced to listen to one song over and over, ad infinitum, as a form of torture. What song is it?
That actually happened this summer when a summer student kept playing a fucking Coldplay song over and over. All I can tell you is that it has a piano intro and the opening notes make my head explode.

6. You are leaving your state/province. What state/province do you move to?
Louisiana

7. You are leaving your country, where would you move?
Somewhere tropical.

8. You get to choose one book as the best ever written. What book do you choose? The Texas Instruments TI-85 user guide. Oh, Man! The symbolism!

9. You get to choose one movie as the best ever made. What movie do you choose?
Amadeus or The Jerk

10. You get to spend one day each as a bird, an insect, and cheese..
A Gooneybird, A dung beetle, Limburger

11. You get to relive one year of your life. Which year?
1987

12. Which would you least like to relive? 1974- mostly crying and shitting myself. Kinda like 2002.

13. You have a time machine that will take you backwards anywhere from 1500 to the present. What decade do you most want to visit?
Jazz Age

14. You must choose to go skydiving or very-deep-sea diving.
Very deep Sea diving. Sky diving happens so fast.

15. You get to return to the past (using that handy dandy time machine we were talking about before) and have an encounter with a rock star that is no longer alive. Who is it?
Jaco!

16. You get to be a contestant on any game show, airing today or in the past. What show do you want to be on?
You Bet Your Life

17. You are given $1 million dollars but you must give it all to one charity. What charity?
One that I've researched and can feel that it's not a gimmick or has 85% overhead.

18. You must ban one word from the dictionary and all usage to be no longer uttered or written. What word do you ban? "The"

19. You can have $100 million dollars tax-free but if you take it, you'll die at the age of 50. Do you take it?
Naw. Being poor builds character.

20. If you could ban one trend in clothing what would it be?
Clothing

two words: YOU ... C A N ... O N L Y ... T Y P E ... TWO... W O R DS !

N O ... E X P L A N A T I O N S !
Not as easy as you might think...

1. Yourself: Loveable Goof

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife: Are Acquainted

3. Your hair? Very Old

4. Your mother: Crazy Hippy

5. Your Father: very dead

6. Your Favorite Item?: Special Purpose!

7. Your dream last night: Dismantling cars

8. Your Favorite drink: Wine, Scotch

9. Your Dream Car: Antique Maybach

10. The Room You Are In: Dirty, pink

11. Your Ex: Fed Ex

12. Your fear?: impending winter

13. Where you want to be in 10 years?: down South

14. Who you hung out with last night?: my bride

15. What You're Not: many things

16. Your Best Friend: Queen Song

17. Your Wish List Items: very expensive

19. The Last Thing You Did: Oil Additive

20. What You Are Wearing: Shorts, Tee

21. Your Favorite Weather: Tropical, sub-tropical

22. Your Favorite Book: remains undiscovered

23. The Last Thing You ate: Venison, beans

24. Your Life: *snaps fingers*

25. Your Mood: tempest, teapot

26. Your body: fat, hairy

27. What are you thinking about right now: attaining sleep

28. Your Crush: crushing weight

29. What are you doing at the moment? holding fart

30. Your summer schedule: slipping away

3. Next person you want to go out with: Like out-into the world? I’m supposed to go to an art opening tonight with Janine. But I might just mow instead.

5. Next time you're going out:I might have a brunch date on Sunday. Or groceries tonight.

6. Next place you'll take vacation:It shouldn’t be New Orleans but it will be New Orleans. Actually I’m taking vacation next week but I’m not going anywhere.

9. Next time you plan to be drunk:Oohh! Hopefully tomorrow after the venison roast.

11. Next person you'd like to see fill this out: someone funnier and more inspired than I right now.

1. Last kiss:Alma- a kiss on the cheek when we met in line at Einstein Bros this morning.

7. Last person you thought of:Gosh, if I could keep track of all the crazy random shit flipping into & out of my noodle. It would be like reading Joyce’s Ulysses backwards. And upside down.

10. Last run-in with the law?Is a traffic ticket a run in? I got a speeding ticket in 1995. I keep my nose clean. All of my illegal activity is on my computer.

11. Last fight you were in: Physical fight? Never, really. Grade school was the closest I came to stuff like that. I probably could've used a good ass-kicking now and then.

12. Last bar/club/concert/party you went to:Benjamin’s / House of Blues / Mike Stern / Andy and I sat in his party cabana and drank gin and smoked cigars last Saturday. It was kinda like a party.

13. Last person you IMed:Alma. The only IM I use is at work, for work, to get a hold of people on campus not near phones. Lots of our work is in basements or sub-basements.

14. Last thing you ate:Today’s potluck at work was themed “stuffed stuff”. I made awesome cucumbers that look like they are stuffed with catsick.

8. First alcoholic beverage: Some of dad’s wine in the garage (repeat! full story below!)

9. First time you stayed out all night: Was a lot less interesting than you’d imagine.

13. First movie you watched in a theater:Not sure. Pete’s Dragon or a Zoro / Herbie the Love Bug double feature.

-> what's the last thing you bought: coffee @ the Einstein bros kiosk at Uni Hospitals (as I do every morning). Wait! I got some motor oil on the way home.

Subject: for those of us who have completed puberty....
Body: A teenager can write a survey about their favorite class or their secret crush or how nice their car is that their parents paid for. This is a survey for the older crowd.

1. Do you have a college degree? Nope. But lots & lots of credits. Never quite lined them up for the paper. I bolster my deflated ego with he fact that everyone who had my job before me had a Masters.

2. What was the amount of your last electric bill? $125.41

3. Do you have term life insurance? No. I agree Term is the way to go, but I get a good deal through work.

4. How many hours per week do you have to work? 37.5

5. Have you ever attended a Toastmasters event No, but I have been to several Chaine Des Rotisseurs events. I don't feel I have public speaking problems. I just Channel David Lee Roth.

"..Myyyyy, My, My-Llllook at all the people here, tonight, I say! OW!"

6. Favorite place to attend Happy Hour? Usually the Barking Spider, but wherever the workmates invite me is fine.

7. How many miles is your commute to work each day round trip? To work or round trip? Make up your mind. It's a 40 mile round trip as the crow flies. But I take a longer route that is more pleasant.

8. What time do you get up every morning? 5:40ish

9. What is your definition of sleeping in late? after 9am on weekends.

10. Have you found any gray hairs? When I was 18

11. Do you check your cholesterol on a yearly basis? Yep. It is remarkably low. I get it free yearly with my Benefits fair.

12. How large was your first cellular phone? Lemmie check. ..about yay big

13. Does your employer provide good health insurance? I think so. I work for a bloody hospital system. But they just dropped their carrier. Who knows what's next.

14. Did you use the internet to write a research paper back in high school? Nope.

16. Have you attended a high school reunion? Yep

17. How many jobs have you held in your professional career? Professional? I guess one. But I had two that got me here.

18. Have you ever been fired or laid off from a job? Yep. By a friend no less!

19. What is your favorite alcoholic drink? Red Wine.

20. What is the most expensive bottle of wine that you have in your residence? 1995 and 1996 Far Niente, I think. One is a 1/2bottle. I don't know what they are worth now or of any other ones that may be worth more.

21. Have you been divorced? Nope.

22. How old were you when you stopped getting IDed for alcohol/tobacco etc.? 12

23. Favorite casino? Niagra- all proceeds go to the titty bar!

24. Are you happier now than you were in high school? Oh FUCK yes.

25. Did you ever have Hypercolor shirts? no

26. Do you remember when Michael Jackson was black and attracted to older people? Mama se mama sa mama coo sa

27. What music was in your cd / casette player when you were 16? Iron Maiden/Rush/Michael Manring

28. Favorite fancy / upscale restaurant? Le Crepe Nanou

29. How long has it been since you attended a kegger? Don't think I ever have.

30. How many major wars have you lived through? None

31. Where were you when you found out about 9-11? In the bookstore at work/school

32. When's the last time you were at a 7-11 and bought something? Don't know.

The Rules:

Girls - look at your top 3 boys listed on your Myspace
Guys - look at your top 3 girls listed on your Myspace
My "Top 8" Changes weekly, so this will be hypothetical, arbitrary and hopefully, silly.

Here's how it goes:

List your top 3 guys/girls:
1. Kellie
2. Michelle Minicucci
3. Antoinette

1.Are you older than number 1? a little, yes

2.Who did u comment last? Kellie

3. How did you meet number 3? Work

4. If you were crying would 2 cheer you up? #2 is the only one who's seen the trouble I've seen

5. Who has the best taste in music?

Michelle Minicucci's is very close to mine

6. Is 1 your best friend?

Getting there by endearing herself through myspace

7. Have you hugged anyone in your top 3?
Gosh, have I ever hugged my sister?

8. Who have you known the longest? Michelle Minicucci

9. Who have you known the shortest? Antoinette

10. Ever dated any of your top 3?

Not yet.

11. Which is your favourite?

Who's got food?

12. Have you kissed any of your Top 3?
Gosh, have I ever given my sister a kiss?

13.Have you ever been inside the homes of anyone of your top 3?

only Michelle Minicucci. You really need to see her kitchen.

14.Which of them are the most awkward to be around?

Jimm has a little problem of not feeling awkward when he should.

16. Are you taller than number 2?? A bit, yes.

17.Have you ever been to the movies with number 3?

nope. She like cheesy horror flicks.

18.Who would most likely repost this?

Well, I got it from Kellie, so...

19.Least likely?
#2 does not participate in such drivel. #3 is trying to get a PhD so she doesn't have ton of time.

1. What time did you wake up today? 5:40

2. Diamonds or pearls? Pearls

3. What was the last film you saw at the theatre? Couldn't tell you. King Kong?

4. What is your favorite TV show? The Young Ones or The PJs.

5. What did you have for breakfast? Coffee

6. What is your middle name? Christopher (for my uncle)

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Haut

8. What foods do you dislike? White bread, pimento loaf, anything like mint or cilantro (unless they are cooked into a stew ore something). I never crave sweets or Ice Cream.

9. What is your favorite chip flavor? Salt & Vinegar (my sub-mandibular glands did a flip when I wrote that).

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Edgar Meyer: Bach Unaccompanied Cello Suites - Performed on Double Bass I've always had fantasies about playing Cello music on bass violin. Edgar has done it. Recorded it. I am not surprised.

11. What type of car do you drive? 1993 Volvo 850. I also have a 1975 Mercedes 300D.

12. What characteristics do you despise? I can only type so much and windows is not stable enough to handle that volume of information.

13. Favorite item of clothing? Fig Leaf

14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? You know, I have friends and or family in NYC, Chicago, Seattle and Southern California. We still end up going to New Orleans every year while those people wonder what the hell is wrong with us. I'd like to see absolutely every thing in the world. I just found it a day or 2 ago and can't seem to stop listening to it.

15. Favorite brand of clothing? Carhart.

16. Where would you like to retire? New Orleans

17. Favorite time of the day? Coffee Time, Eating Time

18. What was your most memorable birthday? Oh, man. This is going to get my ass kicked. I block out my birthdays.

19. Where were you born? At a hospital in Cleveland which no longer exists.

20. Favorite sport to watch? Curling.

21. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? My Cat.

22. Who do you expect to send it back first? Some industrious son of a bitch.

23. What fabric detergent do you use? All Free & Clear. Who knew I knew?

24. Coke or Pepsi? Dr. Pepper

25. Are you a morning person or a night owl? I am crepuscular.

26. What is your shoe size? 12w-13. Depends on manufacturer.

27. Do you have any pets? 1 cat, 1 Leopard Tortoise, 1 Russian Tortoise, 1 Eastern Box Turtle, many fish.

28. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with your family and friends? Yeah, um I started some uh, blogs and stuff.

29. What did you want to be when you were little? I didn't really have those types of thoughts. In high school I wanted to be a scientist/photographer so that I could write & photograph my own Nat'L Geographic articles.

**********FAVORITES****************

Shampoo? Whatever is present. Names I can recall: Pantene, Aveda I'm also a big fan of white vinegar mixed with water steeped in Rosemary or some such aromatic. Yeah, I've got some hippy in me.

Soap? Dove. You should never use a soap with a pH over 7. I bet yours is over 9.

Day/Night? Depends on which gives me sleep.

Summer/Winter? Summer

Favorite Advertisement? Marketing is a serious scourge.

****RIGHT NOW*****************

Wearing? T shirt, boxers, slippers- the household wardrobe.

Drinking? Water

Listening to? Edgar Meyer: Bach Unaccompanied Cello Suites - Performed on Double Bass. Told you.

**********THE LAST 24 HOURS**************

Cried? No

Met someone new? But I did Friday.

Cleaned your room? I started shuffling stuff around in my office. Sorta.

How many hours slept? 5.5 last night, 2 this afternoon after work (I might be going to a show tonight)

*************DO YOU BELIEVE IN**************

God? Probably.

Yourself? I believe in my ability to screw things up. I need bubble wrap. Lots and lots of bubble wrap.

Your friends? Uh, sure.

Santa Claus? OK, now you're just making me type. Santa Claus is the Norse God Odin. Sleipnir, his 8-legged horse is a poetic representation of a funeral bier. This evolved into Santa's 8 reindeer.
The concept of handing out gifts is from the Norseman's return from battle and distributing the spoils of war. 1 Corinthians 10:21 says, "You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and also the cup of demons. You cannot partake of the table of the Lord and of the table of demons". If there is a God, he certainly doesn't approve of this Christmas business.

Destiny/Fate? no

Ghosts? No. They're a myth. Like the female orgasm and the moon landing.

**********FRIENDS AND LIFE**********

Who have you known the longest of your friends? Pat. It's been a whole bunch of years.

Who do you go to for advice? Nowhere. Maybe that's my problem.

When do you cry the most? When I'm upset enough to cry? I'm a crier. I cry at movies (except at the new King Kong where I felt grossly manipulated). Godzilla should make you cry. If not, you're not really getting it. Even watching horses run & whales jump & crap like that. Music, too. I'm just an entire being of raw nerve endings. One of those sensitive artsy types.

1. Who is the last person you held hands with? most likely my bride

2. If you were drafted into a war, would you survive?
Hard to say. I'd probably be in the cafeteria sellin' smokes.

3. How many times have you spoken French?
Only once. It was a college prank. I never saw him again.

4. Have you ever drunk milk straight out of the carton?
Have I ever not?

5. Have you ever won a spelling bee?
Don't think so. But I was always way up there. I schooled with a whole bunch of over-achieving assholes who were studying for SATs in 4^th grade.

6. Who do you run and cry to when things don't go your way? TURTLE! Only you understand!

7. How fast can you type?
Faster than my bride, that's for sure.

8. Are you afraid of the dark?
Only when I suspect the cat has left something furry or gooey to step in.

9. Eye color?
Brown.

10. Could ya go for a little rum?
Yes, but it's all the way down in the basement.

11. When is the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
When I had a tub that I could fit into comfortably. I have a soakin' pedestal tub now. Unfortunately it's disconnected and in my sunroom, not in the bathroom that I haven't created yet.

12. Do you knock on wood?
no

13. Are you drinking anything right now?
Water

14. Last home cooked meal?
I made some catfish tonight….

15. Can you hula hoop?No but that would be a sight.

16. Are you good at keeping secrets? I can sit on a secret…where honor is at stake…

17. What do you want for Christmas? My 2 front teeth?

18. Do you know the Muffin man?
Girl, you thought he was a man, but he was a muffin

He hung around till you found That he didn't know nuthin

19. Do you talk in your sleep?
You tell me.

20. Who wrote the book of love?
Someone in India, I believe.

21. Have you ever flown a kite?
I've flown a kite or two in my day.

23. Do you consider yourself successful?
Yes. I'm the best turtle wrangler around.

24. How many people are on your contact list of your cell?
I have no idea. Couple dozen?

25. Have you ever asked for a pony?
no. Octopus.

26. Plans for tomorrow?
Fill out Myspace surveys

27. Have you ever been told you're going to hell?
Not seriously.

28. Missing someone now?
Gosh…lemmie think. I wish my wife would get home so we can go to sleep.

29. When was the last time you told someone 'I love you'?Didn't that all get to stop once we were married?

30. What is your favorite cookie?
prolly Oatmeal Raisin.

31. How are you feeling today?
well-rested for once. Well, once I had a nap. Not all day.

32. Are you happy?
Sure. I got a belly full of catfish.

33. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
Yep! I was framed I tell you!

34. What are you looking forward to?
Hoping to buy a house in New Orleans one of these years. That's the big goal right now. Short-term, a second bathroom!

35. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Many.

36. Your favorite breakfast? Eggs Sardou with chicory coffee at old Brennan's or Commander's Palace.

37. Have you ever eaten dog food?
Yes. Often when I were a lad. Those Bonz put me off, though. That "meaty" stuff in the middle was gritty.

38. Can you handle the truth?
I will not accept the truth.

39. Do you like green eggs and ham?
It's a little salty.

40. What 3 things you always bring w/ you to places?
Lint, confusion, hopefully trousers.

41. Any cool scars?
Many. Very Many.

42. Do you like or have a crush on anyone?
I have a crush on everyone.

43. How many kids do you plan on having?
Still negotiating. I hoping 2 or more. I think it's leaning more toward "Go to Hell"

44. What do you do when no one is watching?
Stop moving entirely and zone out.

45. Have you ever been in love?
I'm not in love
So don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because I call you up
Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made

46. Do you talk to yourself?
Yes. I have a problem with that inner-dialog thing. Apparently I say all this shit that I should keep to myself and I don't say the things I should. I'm a dude.

47. Is there something you want that you can't have?
I only want what I can't have.

48.Three things about the opposite sex that you first notice?
EV-

THING

49.Who are you thinking about right now?
Marie Goes Pee. I'm reading her answers as I type this.

50. Who did you last hug? The Wiff

51. Where is your phone? HA! I hope in my work bag.

52. What was the last thing ate? Catfish Filet.

54. Favorite Color? Something in the blue-purple-burgundy range.

55. What is the last movie watched?
Don't know.

56. What song do you currently hear?
MyLK by the New Orleans Klezmer All-Stars

57. What do you want?
An oatmeal raisin cookie, now, thank you.

58. Would you ever date anyone on your friends list?
I'm sure they know enough about me now (due to Myspace) that I don't have to answer this.

59. What TV Show are you watching? none

60. What is your cell phone number?
Weak ending!

relationship survey from Rain

Man! I was hoping it was from R.A.I.N.N. and Tori Amos
I have issues with the word "dating". It's like the word "scientist". What does it mean? I've never "dated". I don't think.

~Jimm

THE UNCOMFORTABLE SURVEY. I wouldn't call it, uncomfortable. Maybe a little itchy.
(lets see if you can get through it. If not, you're too scared about your past)

-Longest relationship:
Just over 11 years. But I did have a pet catfish for 13. I do still have a fish that's 12 years old. She has more clout than my wife on some issues.

-Shortest relationship:
a few weeks, then I was like, "Didn't I have a girlfriend?" Kinda funny, in retrospect

-How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you that they love you?
At least one! At least when I had the remote!

-Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt?
Ahhh teenage hormones!

-Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?:
Oh, yeah. All of 'em.

-Are you happier single or in a relationship?:
Relationship. That way I have someone to make cry!

-Have you ever been cheated on?:
Yep. Almost every one. Even the super brief ones. If it wasn't sex they made sure they had something going before jumping ship.

-What is your favorite thing about the opposite sex?:
The squishy bits. I mean, Intellect! Definitely intellect.

-What is your favorite thing about the same sex?:
-commonality in stupidity. We're duuuudes... and we don't like shoppinnnnggg.
-The 3 Stoogesness of it all

-Have you ever had your heart broken?:
I've had my heart broken by breakfast. It's not really a feat.

-Have you ever broken someone's heart?:
Apparently. Sometimes You find out years later!

-Talk to any of your exes?
Man I talk to this one girl all the time, we have lunch & stuff. I don't know if she's technically an ex....

-If you could go back in time and change things to where you could still be with one of your exes, would you?
Would you leave a girl who sells wine and beer for a living?

-Think any of your exes feel the same way?:
I think they would agree that you don't leave a girl who sells wine and beer for a living.

-Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?
Oh, no. I'm hell to live with. Not many can understand/tolerate me. It takes a very special person to do that. Few have the wherewithal to keep me under control. One, actually.

-Have you dated people who were not good to you?:
I thrive on abuse.

-Have you been in an abusive relationship?:
Only if you count being forced to listen to the Pretenders.

-Have you dated someone older then you?:
9 years older. I was a teen. (Was it "dating"?)

-Younger?:
Well, Christ, unless we share a birthday, they have to be older or younger, right?
I like them young and smooooth all over.

-Do you regret anything that you have done with a boyfriend or girlfriend?:
Regrets? I've had a few. Naw, if it got me where I am now, one way or another it was the right thing to do.
I reserve the right to have made the mistakes of youth.

-Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?:
Hell no! I'm a Scorpio and a vindictive son of a bitch. They know that going in.

-Believe in love at first sight?:
No. Lots of people are great to look at. Doesn't mean you want them to talk.

-Ever dated two people at once?:
uhhh... have we defined "dating" yet?

-Ever been given an Engagement ring?
nope. A few girls gave me roses. I'm sorry, getting roses is awesome!

-Do you want to get married?:
We want to get married again at Oak Allee where we used to picnic, and have the reception in one of the mansions on St. Charles Ave.

-Do you have something to say to any of your exes?:
Man, I wish I had some of my stuff back.

-Ever stolen someone's boyfriend or girlfriend?:
naw--- not for keeps anyway. I may have tried to get on a few while drunk, but I've put up with the same.

-Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend?:
It's good when your friends have mates you don't want to punch in the mouth.

-Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds?:
Oh sure. Even worse. It's just a chemical dump- neurotransmitters going all higgledy-piggledy. The next one is always better, right?

1)IN TRUTH OR DARE WHICH WERE U MORE LIKELY TO CHOOSE?
Never played

2) WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU MOONED SOMEONE?
Can’t say that I have.

3) HAVE YOU EVER HAD A BRAZILIAN WAX?
No, but I’ve had a Singapore Sling.

No, wait. I haven’t.

4) HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT WILL BE UNTIL MYSPACE COST MONEY?
More importantly how long will it take me to delete my account once it does?

5) AT WHAT TIME OF THE DAY DOES YOUR CELL PHONE RING THE MOST?
It doesn't. And when it does, I don't hear it. I get ~3 calls a week and 5/6 are my bride.

6) NAME 1 THING YOU MISS ABOUT YOUR EX:
You People are obsessed. Life did not begin until I met my Schweetie.

7) NAME 1 THING YOU HATE ABOUT YOUR EX:
I refer you to the above.

8) IF MONEY DIDNT MATTER, WHAT WOULD YOUR IDEAL JOB BE?
Curating my own zoo & Aquarium.

9) IF YOU HAD TO GO TO JAIL FOR 10 YEARS TO SAVE A FRIENDS LIFE, WOULD YOU DO IT?
I mean, I love my friends and all. But do any of their lives matter to them that much?
Steve has no life to speak of. Pat prays for death every day. Andy eats deep-fried Macaroni and Cheese every day and washes it down with gin.
Life has had no meaning for Edd since En Esch left KMFDM. No, I don't see a positive trade off here.

10) WOULD YOU EVER MARRY SOMEONE YOU DIDNT LOVE JUST BECAUSE THEY WERE FILTHY RICH?
Absolutely. In fact my bride and I have a plan to marry filthy rich people so that we can support our own relationship. It's very expensive. It's as if Mozart married Mozart.

11) DO YOU THINK YOU WOULD EVER VACATION AT A NUDIST COLONY?
No. Nudists tend to be old fat and short.

12) DO YOU FIND YOUR BOSS ATTRACTIVE?
I will kill you.

13) IF YOU WERE ON DEATH ROW, WHAT WOULD YOUR LAST MEAL BE?
Rally's or Wendy's.

14) DO YOU THINK THAT ONE DAY YOU WILL GET WHAT YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD NEVER HAVE?
I get it every day.

15) WHO DO YOU SPEND MOST OF YOUR TIME WITH?
My piss-poor attitude. And we get along just FINE!

16) HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU MOVED IN THE PAST 5 YEARS?
2. but 10 times in the past 10 years.

17) NAME SOMEONE YOU MISS FROM THE LAST PLACE YOU LIVED:
My hot neighbor Valerie but she was replaced by hot neighbor Chelsey.

18) WHO IS THE WEIRDEST PERSON YOU KNOW?
I could write volumes about one of my co-workers.

19) WHO IS THE MOST OUTGOING?
My friend who came over to my house and spend an hour playing with my neighbors' dog and kids.

20) NAME 2 PEOPLE YOU TALK TO EVERYDAY:
Schweetie and Gillan.

21) TELL A MEMORY YOU HAVE OF YOUR BEST FRIEND:
What my willie and I do in our free time is our business.

22) HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD YOUR PRESENT CELL NUMBER?
December 2005-It's my first and hopefully my last.

23) IF YOU COULD LIVE IN ANOTHER DECADE, WHICH WOULD IT BE?
somewhere within La Belle Époque

24) DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE YOU SHOULDNT?
Dave Navarro
David Lee Roth

25) WHAT WAS YOUR 1ST GRADE TEACHERS NAME?
repeat

26) ASSUMING THEY ARE STILL TOGETHER, IF ONE OF YOUR PARENTS CHEATED, WOULD YOU TELL THE OTHER?
This is retarded

27) HOW MANY BOOKS HAVE YOU READ SINCE SCHOOL ENDED FOR YOU?
Many

28) WHAT DID YOU GO TO COLLEGE FOR / WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO COLLEGE FOR? Biochemistry

29) IF YOU COULD FIND OUT WHAT DAY YOU WERE GOING TO DIE, WOULD YOU WANT TO KNOW?
Nah.

30) WHAT SURPRISED YOU THIS PAST YEAR
How much debt I can really accrue without having any fun at all.

31) IF YOU COULD CHOOSE ANOTHER NATIONALITY TO BE, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
uh.........
Even my present one is too socialist for me.

32) DO YOU THINK YOU LOOK BETTER WITH YOUR CLOTHES ON OR OFF?
On.

On Fire.

33) HAVE YOU EVER SEARCHED AN EX ON MYSPACE?
nope

34) NAME SOMEONE YOU WANT TO KISS JUST ONE TIME:

Dave Navarro? He's pretty. But he'd have to shave.

Anyone without cold sores.

35) ARE YOU IN A CONTROLLING RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW?
Yes. I control what the Turtles eat and when they get to go outside.

36) HAVE YOU EVER HAD A STALKER OR STALKED SOMEONE?

God I hope so, and no.

37) HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR STEAK COOKED?
Interestingly. Steaks bore the hell out of me. I need a really special preparation. I guess I prefer Medium doneness.

38) IF YOU COULD DO ANYTHING RIGHT THIS MINUTE, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

sleep

39) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF KEVIN FEDERLINE?
Is that my insurance agent?
Is he running for something?

40) NAME THE LAST 4 CDS YOU PURCHASED:

Who buys music? It's free on the interweb-thingy.

1) Zoe Keating-One Cello x16 : Natoma that I bought from her in Toronto
2) A live Meters disc I bought from the Headhunters at the Grog Shop

that's all I got

Survey (OH NO!! Jimm just can't resist the urge!!)

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Oh HELL yes. EVERY time I meet a cop. I have long hair. It's worse than being black. The most notable times were:

1) Coming back from Europe in 1990, security grabbed me and any kid who bought a leather jacket while over there.
I had a full strip search, background check, etc.

2) I spent 4.5 days in Orleans Parish Prison. I got the full Monty there, plus a dude who looked exactly like Tupac kept trying to get me to touch his dick.

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
I don't ride roller coasters. Fuck those lines. I think I did a few times when I was 16. If if didn't leave my eyes open, I tried.

3. When's the last time you've been sledding?
1980

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Someone else. And the more cats the better.

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
No.

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
I do. Very much so. I just wish I had more time & money to nurture it.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Doesn't matter. If he did, he did it right.

8. Do you stay friends with your exs?
ALLL My EXs Live IN TEXAAAASSS....

10. Do you know how to play poker?
I learned it for a few games. You would guess that I hate card and board games as much as roller coaster lines and going to movie theaters. Fuck all of that. Why can't we just eat, drink & fuck? I don't want to listen to your fucking chatter. If I do, we can sit in a coffee house and eat fatty snacks. Man, I'm disagreeable.

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
A few times.

12. What's your favorite commercial?
Commercials either suck or are brilliant. I would guess the one were you see Mickey Rooney's ass. If I had seen it.

13. What are you allergic to?
Apparently I've had Rxns to Penicillin as an infant.

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights?

no. I have long hair. I will be beaten like Rodney.

15. Have you ever had a Choco Taco?
Is this another Euphemism? If so then I think so.

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
Are baseball teams! Do I get a cookie?

17. Ever been Ice Skating?
Nope. Fuck the cold!

18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Often

19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?
Janine and I were listening to something on the computer. Some comedian we'd heard 100 times before but it just killed us.

--it was 'Weird Al' videos on You Tube. We'd seen them all 100 times before, but we were hyperventilating with tears rolling down our cheeks for over an hour.

20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles ?
Yes but why would I want to?

21. What's the one thing on your mind now?
How much Microsoft Word sucks and is a pain in the ass when it's trying to help.

22. Do you believe in love at first sight?
No. Lust surely.

23. Do you put salt on a turkey dinner?
Probably.

24. Do you always wear your seat belt?
yes, pretty much.

25. what cell service do you use?
Sprint. I get a discount through work.

26. Do you like Sushi?
It's my crack cocaine.
Good thing Cleveland sushi is expensive and crappy.

27. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
yes.

28. What do you wear to bed?
Butt lint and Cat hair

29. Been caught stealing?
Don't make me sing it!

30. Have you ever been on the funny website ______________.com

nice try

31. Do you truly hate anyone?
Yes. Politicians. Oh and people who talk about politicians like they've got a fucking clue.

32. Classic Rock or Rap?
classic rock, unless it's Bob Seger. Then Gimmie Chuck D any day.

33. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?

I bet Kirsty Alley is cuddly.

34. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Definitely. At least twice.

The many types of simple pleasures
Luscious things, all wide with wings
All surrounded you at home
And threw your clothes out on the lawn

It's such a weird feeling, getting punched in the face
You gotta let go.
Watching you let it go

35. What food do you find disgusting?
White bread

36. Do you sing in the shower?
no. Car, yes.

38. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
Yes, but nothing I haven't already said to them. We make ball-busting an art form

39. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
Yes! Definitely!

Sounds chivalrous, right?

40. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror?
surely

01. In two words, explain what ended your last relationship? “Newgirl” and “husband”

02. When was the last time you shaved? Yesterday, before a wedding

03. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.? Sitting in a car listening to bad radio:

DJ one: Say, Gary, do you give blood? DJ two: Well, for reasons that I’d rather not go into, I am not able to.

JUST SAY YES!! It’s RADIO!!!

04. What were you doing 15 minutes ago? Not making graphs using the new Sigma Plot 10

05. Are you any good at math? It’s all relative. I’ve got to be better than someone. Luckily Sigma Plot 10 says I don’t have to do math.

06. Your prom night? Is this an interrogative?

07. Do you have any famous ancestors? Aloiscious MacGuillicutty Poleman was famous for inventing the second sock. You see, when the sock was invented, it didn’t really catch on until the other one was invented some years later.

08. Have you ever taken out a loan to pay for school? Nope. Hence my lack of a degree despite lifetime in college. It’s good to be contemporaries with your educators. But hey, I’m not in debt!

09. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile?Yes, as presently it is an instrumental.

10. Last thing received in the mail? A pile of Junk mail including the 8^th “home-town” newspaper article I’ve seen this summer about a local sheriff that earlier this year obtained a Chihuahua-mix police dog.

“He’s small, you see. He can into places to search that the big dog’s [sic] can’t”

Also 3 credit card offers, an offer to refinance our mortgage and my Waste pickup bill.

11. How many different beverages have you drank today? none

12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machines?
Uh, if I need to, Yes. But I’m very concise

13. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?
Iron Maiden. Steve Harris has my concert cherry in a display box in his basement bar.

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?

15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
I really don’t recall pain at the dentist. I’ve had a root canal, post implanted, 4 wisdom teeth out. When I had my wisdom teeth out I went out to eat that night.

16. What is out your back door?
Angry Hornets, mostly.

17. Any plans for Friday night?

Recently, I’ve been coerced into hanging out at the Great Lakes Brewing Company on Friday nights since I have two friends who work within walking distance.

18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair? i haven't been to the ocean in so long that i can't even remember
We didn’t go to the ocean in New Orleans. It came to us.

19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different kinds of popcorn for Christmas?

Yeah. How fuckin’ lame is that? Actually I think it was hand-made by nieces and nephews so that makes it cool

21. Do you re-use towels after you shower?
The Hair towel is too wet. The “body” towel is reused.

Edd’s coming home in 3 weeks. The next week we have a pig Roast. I will see Nomeansno 3 times around that weekend. And…uh, that’s probably it.

Not a big “sweets” fan.

24. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?

Hell no. I have only a mother and her mother left. We like to die early in my family.

25. Describe your keychain:
Some keys. A bullet cigar cutter. Merrick’s 1999 rabies tag. Some keys I don’t know.

Fuck change. I hate it and anything else that clutters up my pockets.
I do have 3 little crocks that read: “Cat Farts”, “Ashes of Past Lovers” and “Dingleberries” (seemed funny at the time) for pennies but they’ve been full for like, 5 years. We’re too lazy to roll pennies (like it’s worth it) so we just keep moving them from house to house. Most silver change gets used in meters.

Surely a classroom setting.

28. What kind of winter coat do you have? i own more than a few coats, i freaking live up north

A tired old P-Coat I’ve worn for like, 7 years now.

29. What was the weather like on your graduation day?

For everyone or just me?

30. Do you sleep with the door to your room closed?

No. I love mornings and force myself to get up at the ass-crack of down so I can beat rush hour and get to work by 7am. But I feel like shit and my day suffers for it.

I’d like to think so. But turns out it’s just pent-up aggression.

04. An only child?

No. A sister, 2 step sisters and 2 half-siblings whom I’ve only met once or twice.

05. Catholic?

In the “Catholic Sense”?

06. In your pajamas? Don’t have any.

07. Currently suffering from a broken heart?

I am defined by my perpetual broken-heartedness over anything and everything.

I’m ambiguous! That means I can eat with BOTH hands!

10. Addicted to MySpace?
As it turns out I’m just avoiding more important responsibilities.

See #1 above (this section). Sometimes a little too unshy.

DO YOU
01. Bite your nails?

At Times? I’m only not defined by my broken heartedness when I’m defined by my paranoia.

You know, like everyone else I grew up hating country music. Of course I didn’t relate. Bunch of old drunks warbling about some shit. Then the bullshit new country artists came out in the early 90’s. MAN! I didn’t know that I didn’t really know what hate was! Holy crap does that stuff suck! Now that my life is a country song, I have profound respect for the old bastards like Mel Tillis, Merle Haggard, Waylon, and Hank. I even love Willie and Johnny Cash, even if they did become hip with the college set. Truth is, they were always a part of my life and I miss them all. Country music died the second “Achey Breaky Heart” was released. I remember my dad thought “Alabama” was too rambunctious a cross-over.

My theory is that 99% of any genre sucks open monkey ass, and 1% is awesome. In Jazz, the numbers are transposed. Pretty much only Kenny G sucks. If you can call him Jazz.

08. Enjoy talking on the phone?
NO! That’s why I got married. I do the heavy lifting. She orders the Pizza.

There is a divison of labor. I HATE phones more than Televisions. Fuck interaction.

Every person is the right person. The question is “for how long” and after how many beers?

My favorite story is about when a high school classmate said, “Wow, Jimm! You’re smarter than you look!”

No, but I have had many in the past. Bones are passé. I’m working on organs now, starting with liver.

16. Have caller id on your phone?

LAST PERSON WHO OH MY GOD! CARPAL TUNNEL!!
01. Slept in your bed besides you?

My Bride AND my cat. Trying to give him pills had us all in tears and I’m a damn professional. Turns out there was a reason for that. He had ulcers under his tongue that made it especially painful.

I don’t go to movies. I spend the whole time talking my self out of smacking the other people there. My friends will no longer see movies with me because they are afraid of getting dragged into fights. And we’re all too old for that shit now.

04. You went to the mall with? 4 girls shopping for bridesmaids dresses. Yowza!

05. You went to dinner with? Not counting last night’s wedding reception? Janine, Kris & Andy before the Tom Waits show.

06. You talked on the phone? Alma

07. Said 'I love you' to you and really meant it? Well, that would be engaging in conjecture.

08. Broke your heart?A dude on the radio talking about his special needs sibling that died before the age of 2. Also this morning the dude who stocks the vending machines didn’t have any bear claws.

09. Made you laugh?I’m sure something my bride said at the reception last night.

ARE YOU
01. Simple or complicated? It would take me 10 pages to answer that.

02. Gay I wouldn’t put it to a vote. Look, I go antiquing and collect tea infusers, OK??!

03. Hardcore? Verily

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
01. Do you like anyone? Oh sure. Especially when they have bear claws.

02. Do they know it? I tell him every chance I get.

DO YOU PREFER
01. Sun or moon? I’m one of those people who is not tolerable unless I get X-number of hours of natural sunlight. I need those full-spectrum lights for S.A.D. treatment in the Winter. Well, what I need is a second home in New Orleans. We’re working on that.

02. Winter or Fall? Fall is more enjoyable but it just means winter is coming. Therefore it is hardly enjoyable.

03. Left or right? Well, the left one hangs a little lower. I don’t know if that’s good or bad.

04. 10 acquaintances or having two best friends? Which ones have bear claws?

05. Sun or rain? Need them both for the flowers to grow!

06. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?Ice Cream? Vanilla if it’s real.

07. Vodka or Jack? Jack. (Man, I feel so METAL!)

ABOUT YOU
01. What time is it? 4:00 pm

02. Name? Puddin’ Tane.

True Story.

05. What is your birthdate? 8 nov 73

06. What do you want? I could go for a Bear Claw.

09. What would you want to name a girl?I have relinquished all consideration of that to the female half of the union for exclusive naming rights for any boys.

10. What would you want to name a boy? I like Rasputin, Fritz Wolfgang and Beauregard.

11. You want to get married? Hell No! The last wedding was expensive enough!

02. Are you double jointed? no
03. Can you roll your tongue? Yes
04. Can you raise one eyebrow? yes
05. Can you cross your eyes? Yes
06. Do you make your bed daily? no
07. Which shoe goes on first? Right
08. Ever thrown one at someone? I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

10. What jewelry do you wear? Only my wedding ring. I also hate wearing shit like watches rings, etc. I am not obligated to wear my wedding ring but have been OK with it for 3 years now. Though at any given time I can’t find it because I take it off every chance I get because I HATE HAVING SHIT IN MY POCKETS AND ON MY PERSON. I’m fucking Tarzan! Not fucking Batman!

11. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? Both. Then face Plant (cAN YOU TELL I’M GETTING SLAP HAPPY?) [cAN YOU TELL MY CAPS LOCK IS ON?)

12. Have you ever eaten Spam? Yes. Green Eggs and Spam cooked up by my friend Kris.

14. How many kinds cereal are in your cabinet? I limit her to 3. Chicks are fuckin’ crazy about cereal. What is it? They’re like fuckin’ junkies.

The last thing I bought was a pile of 30 Edgar Rice Burroughs books.

03. Sang in front of people?

Oh yeah! I drank a whole bottle of Zin on Friday night. That’s what got me started on this whole “survey” business. I think I’m done after this one, though. There isn’t much left to answer.

If I’m drunk enough to dance, I’m drunk enough to puke. That all resumes once Edd gets back home. Of course last time we danced I broke his tooth and split his lip and we knocked 8 dudes over and…. It was a bad scene.

11. Gotten your hair cut?

[X] You have a boyfriend/girlfriend/fiance/ husband/wife
[x] You have your own room. (but it's full of Turtles)
[x] You own a working cellphone. (sometimes I even remember I own it!)
[X] You have an ipod/ mp3 player. (Piece of Shoe!)
[ ] Your parents are still married.
[X] You have more than 2 best friends. (I almost have too many friends)
[ ] There is a pool/spa in your backyard
T OT A L: 5

[] You dress how you want to. (all men's clothing is retarded)
[x] You hang out with friends more than once a week.
[x] there is a computer/ laptop in your room. (A pile of them, actually do I get extra X's for that?)
[X] You have never been beaten up. (I look tough. No one knows I have the upper body strength of a 10 year old girl- with polio.)
[X] You dont cry more than twice a month. (I save it all up and cry for the entire month of November)
[X] You are allowed to listen to the music you want to. (with impunity!)
[x] Your room is big enough for you. (turtles don't get a vote!)
[X] people don't use you for something you have. (few people know that I have a special purpose!)
[X] You have been to a concert. (ask my tinnitus)
T 0 T A L: 8

[X] You have over 50 friends on myspace (well, 99% of them are bands and 50% of those are dead people)
[X] You have pictures on myspace.
[X] Your parents let you have a myspace (I asked- honest. Mom is very entertained by my Myspace page)
[X] You get allowance or get money whenever you ask for it. (well, whenever the cat isn't accruing multi-thousand dollar vet bills like he has the past few weeks)
[X] You collect something normal. (But I wouldn't put it to a vote)
[] You look forward to going to school. (Ha! School has kicked my ass all over the place for like, 25 years now).
[X] You don't wish you were someone else. (no, really what could be more fun than this? I have more turtles that a man could ever ask for)
[X] You play a sport. (It's called how fast can I get my bride to kick me in the junk)
[X] You do something after school. (It's called enjoy my life)
T 0 T A L: 8

[x] you own a vehicle. (as it were)
[x] You usually don't fight with your parent(s). (oh those battles are long over)
[] You are happy with your appearance. (I wish I had long, luxuriant blonde hair)
[X] You have never got a failing grade on a report card in your life (Mrs. Cosimi *gave* me a grade I didn't deserve)
[X] You have friends.
T 0 T A L: 4

[] you know what is going on in the world. (does anyone?)
[x] You care about many people. (mostly supermodels)
[X] You are happy with your life (no, really this place is lousy with turtles)
[X] You usually aren't sick. (also wouldn't put that to a vote)
[] You know more than one language (polyz vooz fran-Caize? NON?)
[X] You have a screen name. (Jimm)
[x] You own a pet.
[X] you know the words to more than 5 songs.
[] You don't have any enemies (would you count the employees of Ticketmaster as a whole or as individuals?)
[X] You are happy where your living. (my living what?)
T 0 T A L: 7

Total over all: 32

times it by 3: (Do you mean "multiply"?) 96
101%+: A+
100-90%: A
89-80%: B
79-70%: C
69-60%: D
59-00%: F

repost saying "i got an "A" in life"

It's good to know my quality of life is judged on such imporatant things as 1) how many pictures I have on myspace and 2) whether or not I have a pool.

~Jimm

This is funny. YOU fill in the blanks about ME even if u dont have any idea what they are and send it back to ME. But first post a blank one out to all your friends so they can return the favor to you. Be honest and reply!! Make sure you repost it blank in your own bulletin so I can do it for you!

My name: Uh, Sampson's owner

Where did we meet: RMS Aquaculture

Take a stab at my middle name: Tiberius

How long have you known me: ....

...

...

14 years can you fucking believe it?

When is the last time that we saw each other:
Steve's B-day party 2005??

Do I smoke: no

Do I drink: moderately

What was your first impression of upon meeting me/seeing me:

What is that smoking chick doing with that dink? He must have a huge schlong or lots of money.

What's one of my favorite things to do: Defend Sampson's morbid obesity.

Am I funny: Funny peculiar, not funny Ha-Ha

What's my favorite type of music: Surely something with which I'm unfamiliar.

Can I sing?: I'm guessing no.

What is the best feature about me: C'mon. This is going public.

Am I shy or outgoing: You are not seemingly socially retarded.

Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules: you don't seem to act contrarily for the sake of being contrary.

Do I have any special talents: Yes. Steve told me about them.

Would you call me preppy, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy, snobby, or something else (what): Well, you do have one of those trendy arm-band tatooes...

Have you ever hugged me: don't think so.

Have we ever hooked up?: Still waiting for that call.

What is my favorite food: I would guess you've never eaten.

Have you ever had a crush on me: aw, gosh...

If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be: Sporty Spice.

no, no! I'm kidding.

What's your favorite memory of me: Making up new Names for you every time I saw you at RMS. My favorite was "Consternation".

If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is the one thing I would bring?

Sampson!

then I would eat him.

then die of artery blockage.

Just kidding!

Are we friends: I hope so, after this.

Do you want us to be more than friends? I am one of those Charlie Chaplin types.

That means you're too old.

Do I believe in God? No idea. We all do on some level, right?

Who is my best friend? Clearly Steve. And he's a swell guy.

What kind of car do I drive? One that is likely up to date on its oil changes.

Will you repost this so I can do it? done.

~Jimm

My 21 Firsts:

1. Who was your first prom date?

A Girl. I don't even know if I went to "Prom" per se. Maybe it was just homecomings. I've been to a few big high school dances where you dress up. The question is how do I go to them now?

2. Who was your first roommate? A Girl

3. What alcoholic beverage did you first drink?

Some of My dad's wine I found in the Garage (Age:4)

Also when I was in middle school I had a bad bout with the flu.
My dad said "Come over and have a couple nips, then go to sleep by the fire in the living room" and handed me a bottle of Rock & Rye.
He went into the living room to watch TV and I drank 85-90% of the bottle and puked all over his house. I felt great in the morning though.

4. What was your first job?

Yardwork for a friend's dad.
First over-the-table? Putting bikes together for Toys-R-Us.

5. What was your first car?

'85 Chevette. Drove it from age 16 to 21.

6. When did you go to your first funeral?

Probably my Grandfather in '77. I barely remember it, but I do.

7. Who was your first love?

A Girl.

8. Who was your first grade teacher?
Mrs Jenaut (Ohio) and Mrs. Robinson (Louisiana)

9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?

Florida to see my Uncle (don't remember it)

10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?

Steve or Bill

11. Who was your first best friend and are you still friends with them?

Yes. My 4 closest friends when I was 4,5 and 10 years old are still my best friends now.

12. Where was your first sleepover?

Some kid I met when I first moved to Louisiana ('81?)

13. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?

My Bride.

14. Whose wedding were you in the first time?

Mizak, even though he lined up a replacement because he thought I was enough of a fuck-up to not show up just because I lived 1100 miles away.

15. What is the first thing you do in the morning?

Piss like a race horse.

16. What was the first concert you ever went to?

Iron Maiden. march 14, 1986. Sixth row, center. Fucking magic.

17. First tattoo or piercing?

I have tremendous personality and character. :)
I don't feel I need to alter my physical being to separate myself from "the crowd". Especially now that it's hip and trendy. Actually, why is it still hip & trendy after 15 years? People old enough to serve in Vietnam or older that have tattooes are tough old birds. People under 40 with tattooes are poser sheep that bought into the "subculture" fashion victimization. Ohh! Tribal Tats! Sexy! On the small of your back, no less! Wow! You are so different and edgy!

Man if that doesn't get my ass kicked I don't know what will.

18.first celebrity crush?

Kirsty Alley. And I still love her, all fat and stupid!

19. First crush?

The first Girl I ever met. I'm one of those Charlie Chaplin types.

20. First TRUE love:

A Girl

21. First time you smoked a cigarette?

Never. I started smoking cigars in Edd's garage about 10 years ago. My cigar is Partagas number 10 but I like anything spicy or maduro.

~Jimm

Which Norse Goddess are You?

SkadiGoddess of winter, skiiing, hunt, justice, vengeance, and righteous anger.Ok, so you might have a cold personality, and choose a husband based on feet, but it only makes you that much stronger.
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